Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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