Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize