She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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