Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Are we still banned from the library?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
