Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
