id be glad to
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
