I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
