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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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