Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize