If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..