Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.

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(518): View more from New York

Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face

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(301): View more from Maryland

Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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(702): View more from Nevada

The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

(806): View more from Texas

That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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(440): View more from Ohio

This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?

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