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• (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.

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• (925): View more from California

  Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Did everyone make it back alive?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You say that with such hope.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is that a no?

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  her dad gauges his nipple piercings.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Paige is home safe.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.

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• (518): View more from New York

  is that a dick in a sweater?

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum

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