Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard

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  (703): Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life (541): Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard http://tfl.nu/54p5
  Replies (27) Good night (2926) Bad night (6515)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  (251): i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once http://tfl.nu/k6sm
  Replies (52) Good night (4940) Bad night (1255)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

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  (705): Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world. http://tfl.nu/0fm4
  Replies (9) Good night (6635) Bad night (1157)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

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  (540): I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments http://tfl.nu/peng
  Replies (7) Good night (5995) Bad night (801)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.

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  (970): I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now. http://tfl.nu/y6ao
  Replies (10) Good night (2796) Bad night (1037)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

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  (256): I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means. http://tfl.nu/u00p
  Replies (7) Good night (3864) Bad night (861)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

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  (914): She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles. http://tfl.nu/pzt3
  Replies (19) Good night (1978) Bad night (6434)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.

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  (405): In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/wcjj
  Replies (6) Good night (583) Bad night (1485)
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  (760): View more from California

  Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!

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  (760): Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it! http://tfl.nu/qsog
  Replies (10) Good night (2303) Bad night (683)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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  (775): The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me http://tfl.nu/fs79
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (586)
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  (714): View more from California

  The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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  (714): The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet. http://tfl.nu/xgey
  Replies (12) Good night (2447) Bad night (990)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (883) Bad night (436)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.

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  (720): she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent. http://tfl.nu/e5i7
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (910)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?

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  (206): She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What? http://tfl.nu/e1z9
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (356)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

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  (214): He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here." http://tfl.nu/qwmx
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (318)

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