Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?

(212): View more from New York

Vagina

Fav 9 2669 1004
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

Fav 80 1131 7205
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

Fav 2 3899 1071
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.

Fav 7 2906 911
share tweet
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+64): View more from New Zealand

You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.

Fav 4 1849 1089
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

Fav 11 969 2096
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?

Fav 26 4532 967
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...

Fav 4 438 647
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(785): View more from Kansas

You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.

Fav 0 155 59
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT