I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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