He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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