you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
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That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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