Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
