When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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