In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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