dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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