There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
