I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
