You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
