Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize