I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
