hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
