dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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