so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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