I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
