I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
