she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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