laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
