whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
