Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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  (734): Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic. http://tfl.nu/9ab0
  Replies (15) Good night (1188) Bad night (2367)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.

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  (617): I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian. http://tfl.nu/jfuh
  Replies (30) Good night (3318) Bad night (627)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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  (941): Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there. (1-941): That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis. http://tfl.nu/r1u9
  Replies (36) Good night (1166) Bad night (3589)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"

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  (912): your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?" http://tfl.nu/ccfy
  Replies (18) Good night (1203) Bad night (3957)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"

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  (717): He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested" http://tfl.nu/y825
  Replies (9) Good night (3215) Bad night (1293)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night

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  (814): it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night http://tfl.nu/ia2t
  Replies (4) Good night (3003) Bad night (880)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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  (928): im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was http://tfl.nu/g5u7
  Replies (4) Good night (2396) Bad night (984)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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  (609): I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments. http://tfl.nu/kh7m
  Replies (6) Good night (1615) Bad night (1286)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.

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  (918): He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it. http://tfl.nu/hmj1
  Replies (6) Good night (715) Bad night (2015)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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  (210): Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move. http://tfl.nu/2sh4
  Replies (4) Good night (1281) Bad night (738)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ur mom makes the best bacon

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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  (570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx
  Replies (14) Good night (3886) Bad night (776)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.

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  (406): Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home. http://tfl.nu/eyf5
  Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (544)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.

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  (952): Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win. http://tfl.nu/6dep
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (269)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?

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  (443): Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/y1t4
  Replies (2) Good night (269) Bad night (525)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today

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  (803): Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today http://tfl.nu/0fzu
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (242)

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