Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
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Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
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Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?