No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?