so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF