i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
