He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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