i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
