Don't you send me to vm
Your face is a jimmy john
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm passing your future prison.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
