How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
