A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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