Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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