If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
