Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
vagina is talking i cant
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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