Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
