I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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