Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
