Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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