Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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