I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
