The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
