you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
