You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
