Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
