so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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