genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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