I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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