So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
