Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
