so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
