I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
