and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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