Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize