Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I looked at my own cervix.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
