I am in a vortex of obligation.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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