I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
