You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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