I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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