I just made out with a guy for $7.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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